It’s been a tough few years, alright. The good news is that every time I find myself dancing on the rim of what I call the “Black Hole of Hopelessness,” I’m reminded that on the other side of difficulty, there’s still so much hope in the world. It may be days or weeks before I can refocus and recognize it clearly once again. It may take a friend or family member to show me the way. It may even require some serious personal time and difficult soul searching, but, ultimately, I know I will get there. I know that wallowing in my Black Hole is not an option, because living down there means allowing my fears, negative emotions, and all that’s wrong with the world to win. I can’t let that happen. We, as activists and humanitarians, can’t let that happen. So, how do we avoid the negative pull of the Black Hole of Hopelessness?
The Difference Between Acknowledging Your Hopelessness And Tumbling Into It
The Difference Between Acknowledging Your Hopelessness And Tumbling Into It
There is a big difference between acknowledging the hopelessness and allowing yourself to be sucked into it. Accepting that the difficulty looms is a healthy thing. It’s important to recognize that your feelings of hopelessness, despair, and doom are genuine emotions. Some might even argue they’re grounded in pretty convincing evidence that things aren’t going so splendidly these days. Acknowledging these “difficult” feelings is the only way to come to terms with them and eventually emerge on the other side. I can assure you that it will do you no good at all to put on a happy face and go through the motions of daily life, while underneath you’re suffering and seething. This merely perpetuates the problem and makes that Black Hole’s pull even stronger. If you want to overcome those negative emotions and get back to your hopeful self, you must first openly acknowledge they exist, they’re strong, and they’re impacting your life in the wrong way. Failing to do so may send you headfirst into that Black Hole of Hopelessness, and, once you’re down there, it can be a hard climb out. It becomes easier to expect the worst. You become willing to accept that things will never change and that fighting for ideals that matter to you is pointless. After all, why risk being disappointed when it’s so much safer to manage your expectations by eliminating hope altogether? Before you know it, that Black Hole will start feeling a little too cozy and climbing out will take one monumental effort. So don’t get sucked down! Acknowledge your emotions and give them their just due so you can work through them and emerge recharged, refocused, and ready to get involved.
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
Somewhere between gloom and doom and eternal optimism lives a gray area where we can make real change. In this highly aware state, we acknowledge the current climate as challenging, but also rejoice in the truth that the situation is not permanent. That it can and will change; that we can play a role in directing that change; and that our voices will be heard if we’re willing to speak out. Living in this gray area, we’re able to see the big picture. Rather than existing in an abject state of hopelessness and outrage, we choose to acknowledge that some things are, indeed, outrageous and infuriating, but that these things can be changed. We grasp that the histories of our nation and the world have been fraught with difficult times, but no matter how horrendous or horrific, the difficulty eventually abated. In other words, we come to believe the old adage, “this too shall pass.” Granted, seeing the light can be hard in today’s politically charged times. Our nation is as divided as we’ve ever witnessed it. Families are being disrupted. Friendships are being ended. Our American values are being questioned at home and abroad. Allow yourself to feel sad, angry, and confused about all of this without being sucked into that Black Hole of Hopelessness. Remember that our actions matter. Remember we are engines of change. Remember that small gestures can make large dents in the fabric of the universe. You may be tired, and feel hopeless, but don’t be scared. Acknowledge the hopelessness you feel, refrain from wearing a mask of happiness, remember that nothing is permanent and that clinging to anything—whether it be hopelessness and despair or our plans to change the world—confines us to suffering. This too shall pass.
How to Navigate Your Way Around a Black Hole of Hopelessness
How to Navigate Your Way Around a Black Hole of Hopelessness
REMEMBER, IT’S HUMAN TO FEEL HOPELESS.
REMEMBER, IT’S HUMAN TO FEEL HOPELESS.
You might as well resign yourself to it. Some days are going to feel a little more hopeless than others. The key is making sure those times of despair and frustration don’t snowball and send you over the rim and into the Black Hole of Hopelessness. We cannot allow ourselves to fall victims to despair, anger, and negativity. Feeling these emotions and acknowledging them is great. Giving into them is dangerous. This is one of the main reasons it’s important to have self-care buddies and communities of care to lean on in tough times—We can reach out and feel that there are others sitting in the space with us; we can hear their kind words, and we can experience our hearts connecting. We can take comfort in knowing that so many important issues are now part of the national conversation because caring people refused to feel or act as though they were hopeless. We can look to history to remind ourselves that despite difficult times in this world good ultimately prevails. So let’s pledge to each other to avoid falling into despair. And let’s pledge to each other that if we see our community members feeling hopeless, we will throw down a rope and help them back up again. Let’s call upon each other to balance the sitting down of meditation with the rising up of kindness, to ourselves and our communities.
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Shelly Tygielski January 9, 2019
Shelly Tygielski January 3, 2023
