First, we practice a little self-compassion ourselves. This can start with just noting to ourselves the pain, shame and disappointment we feel, before connecting to the universal human experience that yes, all parents will experience this at some point. And then, heart a little more open, and head a bit more clear, we move toward action with our child. But what is the best action to take? Do we make them apologize on the playground? Who is the apology really for—to soothe the other child, to teach our kid a lesson, or to placate the cross-armed parent staring us down as they wipe tears from their own child’s cheeks? Still, some considerations are worth digging into when it comes to those playground apologies. We all know how the power of an authentic apology can be profound. Many of us who recall forced apologies growing up probably primarily recall more vividly the smug smirk by the apologizer the moment the adjudicating adult turned their back. And forced apologies can unwittingly teach kids that apologies are “get out of jail free” cards. As parents, we need to look honestly at the efficacy of those artificial apologies. Who are we actually trying to make feel better—the other child, their parents, or ourselves? Sure, forcing your kid to apologize can be a handy social lubricant on the playground, but some other approaches are worth considering when you have the time or an understanding parent friend.
7 Mindful Strategies For Kids Who Bully
What happened, and why?What were the results, and how did they affect you and others?What did you learn?How can you make it better?
